Honest Imperfections
by WinglessCrows
Summary: Being in love with someone means being honest, even if the honesty isn't always what you want to hear.
1. Chapter 1

**This was just a little warm-up exercise I did, which I ended up quite liking :)**

* * *

Yuuri had looked at Viktor half his life. Looked and admired a person who had always seemed out of reach, unattainable and absolutely perfect. Yuuri had looked at Viktor skate so perfectly for all the world to see, had seen his eyes shimmer and laugh during interviews, and seen his beautiful smile all around him as he woke up and went to bed. Viktor was always there, so perfectly out of Yuuri's reach. And though Yuuri never dared to hope for anything, just like thousands others, Yuuri wondered if he could ever become a person Viktor would choose. And at the time, Yuuri had wanted nothing more than for Viktor to smile at him like _that_.

* * *

Yuuri didn't like to argue, but he had had his fair amount of fights with Viktor to know that it didn't change anything between them. Perhaps it even made them stronger. It was a dumb argument anyway. Neither of them cared that much for a bag of nuts, but what really pissed Yuuri off was the way Viktor smiled at him. Smiled as he tried to calm Yuuri down and close the argument. Smiled like Yuuri was just some random person who didn't _care_. Yuuri felt like he was looking at a poster as Viktor smiled down at him, but the way he cracked slightly as Yuuri snapped at him again was worth the argument. He hadn't meant to hurt Viktor, he never did, but he'd rather Viktor get hurt than feel nothing at all. That meant that he cared. Maybe Yuuri should show him that he cared too.

Logically, Yuuri proposed not an hour later.

And the way Viktor smiled when they exchanged rings was a smile Yuuri had never seen before. He smiled like everything was finally right and the moon, sun and stars belonged to him. Yuuri wanted Viktor to feel like that forever.

* * *

The two of them had never been that good with words, always preferring to show their feelings through skating or dancing or other small touches of affection, but every now and then, words were needed. Sometimes the words were few: ' _I just want you to be you', 'stay by my side', I'll always be with you'_ and sometimes, sometimes that wasn't enough.

"You don't have to lie to me," Yuuri whispered into the darkness of their hotel room. Their hands were intertwined and Yuuri could feel their rings touch as Viktor tensed for a moment. In the darkness, Yuuri couldn't see Viktor's face, yet he kept his eyes on him.

"When did I lie?" Viktor whispered back, and Yuuri noted the sincerity in his voice, because Viktor didn't know. He had been smiling like that for so long that he just didn't know. It hurt Yuuri more than he could say.

"Today," Yuuri clarified, "Before we went to the Christmas market."

"What did I say?" Viktor asked, probably going through the events of the day to figure out what had been said and done. Because Viktor didn't doubt that Yuuri was right when he said he lied, even if he didn't know. Because Yuuri wouldn't lie to Viktor.

"It wasn't what you said. It's what you did." Yuuri's voice was soft. He didn't blame Viktor for it. Sure, it had made him angry at the time, but rather than put the blame on Viktor, he could help him, make him feel so safe and happy that he wouldn't have to hide behind that empty smile. At least not from Yuuri.

"What did I do?" Viktor squeezed his hand.

"You smiled."

"Is that so bad?" Once again, Viktor was genuine.

"You weren't happy."

"Neither were you. I was trying to make you feel better."

"You don't have to lie," Yuuri said again, because Viktor always did what he thought was best, always had the best intentions, even if it didn't always work out, "I would rather fight."

"I don't like that," Viktor whispered slowly, and Yuuri could feel Viktor averting his gaze. There were some insecurities deep in Viktor's heart that Yuuri had yet to uncover, but he would get there. They would get there. And until they did, Yuuri would do everything in his power to make sure that Viktor knew just how important he was to Yuuri.

"You don't have to like it," Yuuri said sweetly, and kissed Viktor's hand, "But we should be honest."

There was a short silence, before Viktor moved a little closer to Yuuri and answered in a small voice: "I can't promise."

Yuuri kissed him again: "That's okay," he reassured him, "I'll just remind you again, because I love you."

The tension left Viktor as soon as Yuuri said those three magic words, "I love you too."

* * *

The next time Yuuri hurt Viktor's feeling, he didn't smile. He cried, raised his voice and they fought until they were too exhausted to continue. And by the end, they loved each other just as much as they had done before. Maybe even more. Because this time, they were honest.


	2. Chapter 2

Viktor didn't cry often, in fact, it happened so rarely that he didn't really register it until Yuuri, so infuriatingly calm, pointed out the tears. Viktor couldn't comprehend Yuuri's attitude. How could he just say that… that this was it. After how far they had come. If Yuuri was anyone else, Viktor would think that Yuuri was merely breaking off something he no longer needed. That now that they were engaged, and their future seemingly certain, Yuuri didn't need him as a coach anymore. But this was Yuuri. Viktor knew that there was no malicious intent behind this action. However, Viktor could hardly accept that Yuuri had chosen the best way to deal with it.

Their fight wasn't long, but it was taxing. Viktor had raised his voice, which he so rarely did, and Yuuri had fought back, and while Viktor was locking himself up in the bathroom, trying to calm down and stop the tears, he realized that they had never really reached a solution, merely put it off for later, both needing time to think and consider their options.

The tension between them remained as they settled into bed, a bit of distance between unlike the nights before, and Viktor clutched his blanket tight as he prepared for the tension to stay until after the free skate.

"I'm sorry," Yuuri said softly and Viktor shifted a little to look at Yuuri. In the moonlit night, Viktor could just make out that Yuuri was staring at the ceiling rather than at Viktor, "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"But you did," Viktor retorted quickly, still angry with his dumb fiancé.

"I know," Yuuri sighed, "I thought this was what you wanted."

Viktor bit his lip, not wanting to say something that kept them going in circles, "You could have asked me," he said instead, suddenly feeling a lump in his throat as he fought back another flood of tears, "We could have talked about the future. Our future," Viktor added, needing Yuuri to know that no matter what happened, the future was still theirs to share.

"Yes," Yuuri said, sounding defeated, "I thought I knew you."

"You do," Viktor said quickly. No one knew him better than Yuuri, "But-" Viktor stopped to sort his thoughts, wanting to choose the right words, "I won't decided what to do out of consideration of what I think you want, and I want you to do the same. You do know me, better than anyone," Viktor rolled over to look at Yuuri more clearly, "But don't choose for me. Choose for you, and then we'll figure it out from there. Together."

Yuuri finally looked at Viktor, and took his hand in his, squeezing it tightly, "Yes," he said softly, "Together."


End file.
